The Wandering Quill

Validation

I’ll refrain from giving you a definition of it, as It truly varies from person to person. I can tell you from personal experience. And share my hot takes about it.

Before I started my journey into shadow work, I often found myself seeking validation from everyone and everything around me. The rush of getting likes was intoxicating; it made me feel seen and valued, but it also created a dependency. When I shared my thoughts and didn’t get a response, I experienced a profound sense of being ignored.

I genuinely didn’t realize that what I was sharing was not suitable for a mixed company. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I truly had no awareness of the impact of my words. Sadly, no one took the time to guide me through it.

No one took the time to say, “Hey, what you’re doing is harmful.” No one said, “You shouldn’t be sharing that,” until a dear friend of mine bravely stepped in. The way they addressed it was nothing short of breathtaking. They didn’t belittle me or make me feel incompetent; instead, they gently exclaimed, “Hey, what you’re sharing publicly isn’t right. It’s disturbing others.” Their words struck a chord in me and ignited a fire of awareness that I desperately needed.

These examples showed me what is meant by sharing. I genuinely took that to heart. While it doesn’t excuse my behavior, I recognize that it’s not right to use it against anyone.

Using it as an excuse for poor behavior is deeply regrettable. It is particularly unjust to penalize someone who is actively demonstrating progress in their healing efforts. They are also striving to become a better individual. On the other hand, using past experiences to justify one’s behavior is merely a poor excuse. It serves no purpose. It is also a poor excuse when someone else weaponizes that individual’s past actions to undermine their progress.