The Wandering Quill

Responding differently to my husband’s behavior doesn’t imply that I approve of it. I easily share all the moments that have hurt me, painting a one-sided picture. Still, that wouldn’t capture the full story. Yes, I share snippets of his actions that frustrate me. Maturing means recognizing that I don’t need to vent online. I don’t have to adopt a “poor me” mentality or express a wish to “burn it down.” Instead, I can approach the situation with understanding and grace.

His voice can sometimes be like nails on a chalkboard for me. This happens especially during our movie nights. He feels the need to comment throughout the film. It can be challenging for me. I’m just about to grasp a rhythm while writing. His voice often overwhelms my own thoughts. I understand he means no harm, but it can be difficult to navigate those moments.

I can handle the matter with him. Still, I expect that he will redirect the conversation to his own grievances. He will focus on what I fail to do for him. He thinks women should be appreciative of his financial support. He assumes their only duties are to cook and clean.

He embodies the stereotype of someone who demands a pristine home, prepared meals, and a perfect environment. He often uses phrases like “we need to clean.” Nonetheless, the true burden of household responsibilities falls on me. In his view, maintaining the house is solely my obligation, even as he spends long hours laboring outdoors.

And then it spirals into a relentless lecture. He talks about how I should just clean this or clean that. It’s as if I can magically fit writing between those demands. He insists the laundry has been marinating in the washer for a week. In reality, the load I just did is fresh and clean. He grumbles about the sink overflowing with dishes,

claiming it’s a mess, even though I’ve been tackling it. He accuses me of always being on my phone. He desperately wishes for the church girl I once was. Yet, he fails to see the effort I put into spending time with him. I’m here. I’m available. I’m hardly ever on my phone. It feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough.

I discuss this indefinitely; yet, I will refrain from doing so. Before I can progress in my life, it is imperative that I tackle the issues at hand. If I do not resolve these matters, they will inevitably continue to manifest in Undesirable Ways.